Dear Mr. Murungaru,
It has come to my attention that you have been having some problems with the British authorities. It appears that you are currently a persona non grata in their territory. Word has it that you and your friends have been misbehaving and not keeping your promises.
Well, I have a business proposal which may be of interest to you. As a law-abiding Kenyan citizen and resident of Switzerland (yes, that small country where you and your friends may keep some loose change), I am on fairly good terms with most nations. As far as I am informed, no airline has received a note saying that I am "not, repeat not, acceptable for travel to or through (enter country) and should not be carried there".
I have succeeded in acquiring a visa for the United Kingdom and thus will be travelling to London this Thursday. Rumour has it that you enjoy shopping in this city. Since you are currently not in a position to travel there, maybe I could help you. You may give me your shopping list and I would try and get you the items you need. I understand that you may possibly have basic needs which cannot be fulfilled in Kenya.
For my services, I would request you to talk to some of your friends and have the road from Emali to Loitokitok tarmacked (maybe Mr. Odinga?). Please note that this matter is strictly confidential - so you need not fear any authorities. You can contact me through my family lawyer or by leaving a comment below.
Thanks and kind regards,
Me, myself and I
On a more serious note; anyone with any suggestions of clubs or pubs four guys going to London for some partying from Thursday to Sunday shouldn't miss, please leave a comment below. Thanks!
Monday, September 19, 2005
Tuesday, September 06, 2005
Kenyan citizens will soon get to vote on the new constitution. Yes, the one which in December 2002 was said to be coming within 100 days. The referendum will be held on 21 November 2005. Well, I guess it's a case of "better late than never"...
The ballots will ask: ""Are you for or against the ratification of the proposed new constitution?" The symbol for a "yes" will be a banana, for a "no" it will be an orange.
How did they come up with these symbols?
The banana could have gone something like this:
yes - ndio* - ndizi*
The orange doesn't seem that easy. Maybe whoever was coming up with these symbols was thinking of the president when he came up with orange. Considering that the new constitution gives him more power, a "no" vote would hurt.
no - pain - uchungu* - machungwa*
*Swahili words: ndio = yes; ndizi = banana; uchungu = pain; machungwa = orange.
Picture taken from gettyimages. Photographer: Jack Hollingsworth